Wait. You Say You’re ‘Spiritual?’ A ‘Conscious’ Parent? An ‘Awake’ Human? — The Path of Dis-identification

Since traditional schooling began for us, we have hung our hats on graduating and getting that job. We have been told that until peak moments of achievements, of awards steeped in competition, that we simply won’t be enough. But the title we achieve will be that turning point for us to feel worthy. What a long road to take, all to find out differently.

And for those of us who don’t stumble into the truth of who we are into adulthood, we have a hard time leaving jobs that are out of alignment with our values, that we had decided on decades ago… as our entire worth is wrapped up in that very thing.

But, some of us do create departure from the familiar when we are ready to admit that we are tired. The minds become restless; our bodies in autopilot. We throw our hands up and say no more.

The ‘mid life crisis’ is particularly a phenomena in the west as there is no part of the culture here that would have us check in with ourselves and our hearts, or greater connection to the world on a regular basis. So the tension builds and builds and builds. In the body, in the mind, in the heart. Until we can no longer take the dysfunction in our lives.

And that’s when we turn to ‘spirituality.’ The way we see it in the west is through the lens of diluted and distorted practices. Where the time in a perfect headstand at yoga class, or number of followers of your spiritual movement or how many gemstones you wear on your wrist determines your ‘ranking.’

Yet, the foundation of spiritual connection or knowing of self in the west has been born on intellect, which is inherently dualistic by nature. Good or bad. Right or wrong. A, B or C level student.

So as we turn to understand ourselves more deeply after a mid life even, we may come to notice that the world of spirituality and personal growth in the new-agey world has been born out of that same energy unfortunately. So it remains ungrounded and separate to self.

Yet, we are circling back to need for simplicity once again, where integration of the two poles can rest in one place. A place of non-labels. Non-polarization. Non-grasping. Moving away from believing there is a destination at which you win the prize.

I have been having this conversation over the years with many, many others in the community. My mother grew up with Eastern teachings. And since arriving to Canada, has been a part of the new age development and growth world. Yep, for nearly 40 years I have been watching this industry evolve from its infancy to now toddlerhood.

The disconnect from her true self seemed to happen for my mother when she left her village. Her roots in India. Everything was unfamiliar in Canada. Including the ‘culture’ of intellect, individuality and competition that she was subject to learning, to raise her own three daughters in this country.

Here is where I confess — having grown up in a culture that does not identify themselves as ‘spiritual’ yet lives it through and through, has had me feeling confused between the various interpretations placed on it since childhood.

I remain contemplative as to why when the essence of ‘spirituality’ is to create a bridge between different worlds, or the good and the bad, the right and the wrong — that it continues to perpetuate separation. By the very term itself.

I guess, like anything else, something so pure and nourishing for the human soul can become commercialized. Capitalized on. And diluted. Whether it be music. Organic food. Or our beautiful trees. Yet, one look at a child and they are embodied in their knowing of self. Which is all spirituality really is. I am that I am. And there is no need for me to prove that to others.

I have been led to observing and sometimes dipping my own toes into the new-age reality in the North Western hemisphere, where we are unknowingly, hungry to reconnect to our roots. Most of us are far removed with where we have come from, so are yearning for a new identity. We may not feel to have the footing we need to move out of survival mode. So, despite the resources available to us, we keep on the ‘spiritual’ treadmill. Never feeling to have enough or be enough for this quick-paced world we live in. Often denying our own emotions or humanness to then be identified with something that remains unintegrated, or separated.

The over identification with spirituality and the lack of honest integration of it into our daily actions keeps us so busy. We love busy in our world of mixed up priorities! Yet, most of us know it’s a cover. Most of us innately know that the very notion of being ‘spiritual’ or even ‘conscious’ for that matter — wears a cloak of righteousness.

This is all expected when we approach spiritual growth from a place of unworthiness, and with a foundation of intellect. Because since childhood, most of our worth in nestled in the opinions of others. We are in a society where we are taught to look outside of us for approval. And if we don’t feel we are enough, to acquire more. Do more. Have more.

As division through intellect is the dominant pathway, we do not believe that the spirit is actually a part of us quite simply and easily. We were for a very limited time connected to our innate power- that which we were born with- so it all feels so new and glamourous when we meet it again. In most cases, the sense of one’s true self had been stripped from us early on, leaving us identified only with the voice or beliefs of our parents.

And it is from this place of fear that we are terrified of becoming a nobody in our lives. No titles. No status. Nada.

This is also what is under the claim of our ‘spirituality.’ To create divide from those we perceive hurt us. We do this by creating a persona of superiority — byspeaking ‘spiritually.’ By dressing ‘spiritually.’ By renouncing all worldly possessions. By making everything ‘light and love.’

With that I ask…

Has a child ever told you that they are ‘spiritual?’ I imagine not. Yet they are the most tuned in and tapped in humans on the planet.

There is no one so available to live and to living out their true nature as a child. No one so accepting, forgiving, creative and open to possibilities. Along with hurt. They sure know how to feel their very human feelings.

Yet, they have no identification with any of this. They are quite simply, who they are. As they are.

On the contrary, ‘spiritual’ adults so desperately exhaust themselves through life to create more peace within ourselves and out there in the world by committing deeply to the love we were all born into, or our higher selves, or soul, or spirit- however you may identify it for yourself. Ironically, we are doing the very thing that our higher selves would not suggest we do — getting hooked into the addiction and control of being better than. By navigating towards outcome-driven action. Titles. Labels. Where to get to. When. Who can I tell about it. Who can I change.

Effectively, we feel we are of no value to anyone without an identity. Not even to ourselves.

In turn, spirituality has become so inaccessible and complex in the west. We put on pedastols those who seem to KNOW more, disempowering ourselves in the process. We believe that it is something to understand in our heads. Compare ourselves on the basis of. Who is more ‘evolved’ than the next. Rather than quite simply, allowing with surrender, ease and grace, to have the knowing drawn from our bodies. Remembering who we were when we were born. As we learn to slow down and be present to the beauty that surrounds us.

No fuss. No fancy.

There are no intricate practices required for us to connect with ourselves. Not for us, as adults. Nor our children. True awareness of our authentic selves emerges when we are safe with one another. When we can hold the full spectrum of emotion for ourselves, and therefore, for those we have in our lives. When we are committed to having fun. When we are laughing. When we are connecting in relationship. When we are feeling our feelings honestly. When we are frolicking through nature. Fixing the car. Eating ice cream. Tending to our gardens. Watching the sunset.

The portals to dance in our true nature is implanted in every life experience around us. There is no need to ‘create’ something elaborate or have a 3 hour daily practice to experience it.

Who is to say that you understand — translation, you get in your own body and therefore, live it out — the concepts that you have held so tightly to?

Perhaps the baker’s ‘spiritual’ practice is to love into the bread she makes each morning, and spread richness through the food one takes in. Maybe your friend feels an unshakable connection when they swing by to visit an elderly neighbor who is unable to leave their home. Perhaps it is the farmer who is so attuned to how beautifully interwoven all elements of their eco system is.

They may not care to have the language of the self proclaimed ‘spiritual’ person. One whom pretends to never have human emotions or feel the weight of the world. Rather, they have integrated their innate wisdom into how they choose to live.

They are both the human and the higher self. In one.

That, for me, is the epitome of spiritual practice. This for me, is the path to our true nature. And more specifically, the trajectory of the authentic parent. One who simply lives and learns through life without all the attachments to grueling and often continuous indulgence in ‘personal growth and development.’

Of course, we do need to re establish a foundation of trust within ourselves and others if we have been far removed from our villages for most of our lives. So we can engage in simple practices in a healthy, safe and intentional manner. If we have not been given the ability to land safely with others through childhood, we will naturally find ourselves grasping and clinging to heady knowledge and people who appear to have something we wish to have.

I offer a tender reminder that you CAN do the ‘work’ without it feeling like slavery. Many of us have already accumulated enough energy of slavery and servitude in our bodies, lifetime after lifetime. You can live the ‘work’ without feeling to prove that you are different and separate to those around you. You can even remove the word ‘work’ from your vocabulary if you so choose.

So, as you reflect on your own journey, we invite you to remember that the foundation of your enoughness is rooted in a continuous stream of connection to the intuition. To your own values, and your true purpose. To be as you are. And enjoy the things you love about this human experience. Just as our children do. Until they are taught otherwise.

Intuition, or the innate wisdom that we are ALL born with is essentially what many identify as ‘spirituality’ in the world of new age healing and personal development. It is really that simple.

You, I, everyone in our lives was born into full presence, acceptance, the capacity to fully feeling our feelings and our bodies, joy and laughter. Perhaps some of us took many detours along the way, and are grasping for our lives to yet another identification, but please do remember as you do your travelling in this lifetime, that we all have an equal piece of the puzzle on this planet. That the trees provide shade equally to all humans. And each unique expression will share their insights and innate wisdom in different ways. Even if you don’t recognize the language of it in them.

Let’s keep moving towards integration of the universal love we know to be present on the planet. Children are a perfect example of how to bring one’s wisdom into the body.

Learning can be natural. It can be easy. As you are naturally born to expand.